


These Hands I’d Love to Hold

by asleeplessmalice



Series: Good Omens Short Fics [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mutual Pining, get ready to be emotionally destroyed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 07:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19970224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asleeplessmalice/pseuds/asleeplessmalice
Summary: Crowley had loved Aziraphale for as long as the world has existed. But he feared that he was going to feel a pain he had never felt if Aziraphale didn’t reciprocate. Eventually, both made sure the feelings were met.





	These Hands I’d Love to Hold

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll occasionally be writing little fics to help flex my writing muscles again. I’ll be putting them in a collection here and posting them on my Tumblr as well. See the post: https://angeldemonhusbands.tumblr.com/post/186528635867/these-hands-id-love-to-hold

It was hard for Crowley to admit his feelings for Aziraphale out loud. He was a demon who fell in love with an angel, and that was forbidden. He had suppressed his feelings for so long, and with every passing day, every day that he couldn’t hold the angel in him arms, the pain grew. 

The thought of letting it all go and sharing the deepest part of himself to the angel had him close to breaking. _What if he doesn’t love me back_? _What if he does, but we both get hurt because we can’t be together?_ He wrestled with these thoughts in his mind. Saying that he loved him out loud would be too real for him, too painful, he thought. 

Crowley left his flat to clear his mind and went to St. James Park to feed the ducks. It was an activity that soothed him because it reminded him of the times when he shared moments of peace with his angel. No one to come after their metaphorical tails, no one to judge them, no one to keep them apart; just the two of them enjoying the simple pleasures of earthly life. 

It seemed like a lifetime had passed because the sky grew dark, and all the ducks flew away. He saw nothing but a blur of figures passing him by for the rest of the evening while he sat there, at the edge of their bench with no one at the other end. He held in his mind those precious images of the two of them together, and in his heart those words he wished he could say and have mirrored back. A single tear fell on his face, and he wiped it before the voice that stood behind him could see. 

“Crowley, my dear, what has happened? I looked for you all over! I do hope you’re alright!” said Aziraphale with the softness of the feathers of his wings. He sat in his spot and laid a gentle hand on his arm.

“I don’t want to talk about it! Leave me alone, angel, I will only hurt you!” cried Crowley as he burst into tears. 

“What do you mean? Why will you hurt me?” His tone grew more desperate as he grabbed the demon by his hands and looked into his eyes. “Please, tell me! Why would I be hurt?!” 

“Because, because…” His voice trailed off when Aziraphale pressed a soft kiss into his hands.

Aziraphale suddenly knew what Crowley wanted to tell him. “Don’t be a fool, my dear. I could never feel any pain worse than not being by your side. Neither Heaven nor Hell could have us apart!” 

“So… you do…love… me?” Crowley muttered in between short, labored breaths. “You knew… all along?”

“Oh, you should know, I am quite perceptive to love and kindness. I am an angel, after all. I felt it come off you the day we met.” said Aziraphale as he kept his stare on those glowing eyes. 

Crowley shifted his body to face the angel, and as if the weight of the world was lifted from his body, he melted into Aziraphale’s arms. With a warm embrace, he muttered the words he held on his tongue for all those years, the words he always wanted to say and had finally heard back. They parted after what felt like all their years together in one moment, and Aziraphale spoke the words _he_ wanted to say for so long. 

“You must know, Crowley, that no force in this world or in any other could keep me from you. These eyes, I love to see them sparkle in the sun’s light. These lips, I’d love to feel them on mine. That smile, brighter than any star in the night sky. These hands, I’d love to hold them in mine and never let them go.” He gestured to every part of Crowley’s face with such tenderness, and his eyes welled up with tears, as well. “I love every part of you, I love your whole being. You and I were meant to be together, in any time, in any place, and forever.” 

It took Crowley a moment to process all those beautiful words that poured out of his angel’s soft lips. He couldn’t believe that someone so radiant, so precious, so brave, felt that way about him. It was too much for him, those words he never knew he needed to hear, washing over him with the warmth of the sun. He poured over into Aziraphale’s arms again. 

“I was smitten the day we met at the Garden, but I couldn’t love you any more than I do right now. You have me bewitched, you wily angel!” Crowley said jokingly. 

He cupped Aziraphale’s face in his palm and gently rubbed his thumb across his cheek to wipe away a tear. Before Aziraphale could speak again, Crowley leaned into him and pressed their lips together. They kissed with the passion that 6000 years had given them. Night fell upon them, and world melted as they stood suspended in the moment they wished would last another 6000 years.

They parted once more and walked back to Crowley’s flat where they spent the night, held tight in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Excuse the flowery language, I just like to dabble in guilt-free, angsty romance once in a while. Anyway, check my blog: angeldemonhusbands.tumblr.com


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